... Rosana Shuaibat
(This may seem very unstructured and overloaded with too many different ideas and thoughts, just like the life of the people in the holy land, who have been waiting for their release from their prison for now more than 63 years. Usually it is very difficult or even impossible to put my thoughts into words and then I tend to lose my path and start to write randomly about everything at once like what happened in this text. However I hope that some of the mentioned ideas are understandable and somehow give the point of view of a Palestinian adolescent.)
Have you ever had the feeling that you wanted to do something, but you actually had no clue how and what to do? Do you sometimes feel there is something going wrong, that the story is told from the wrong perspective? That the facts, that are relevant remain hidden in the shadow of the wrong ones? I do, especially when I realize how little of the truth is actually told and how much it is twisted and embellished for the rest of the world.
When I watch the German news channels and see how the Arabs are presented as the “bad”, the “problematic” side of the middle east conflicts. When I then switch to Bethlehem´s local channel, I see what the world out there will never be able to see. They will always misunderstand and keep their prejudice and injustice. My chest swells anguish, wants to scream and be hear when I think about that we in the west bank always have an idea about the inhuman conqueror whose people are all the same. I get the urge to cure the world from its blindness…..
I remember it like last week, when I had my final exams. Usually, this is a big annual event in the whole country (West bank +Gaza strip) and everyone is nervous and busy with studying. This year it was unbelievably hard to focus on studying. I tried to memorize the chemical equations while watching children dying from chemical burns in Gaza, while seeing people being executed by rocket falling down from the sky as if they were rain drops.
First, I was amazed by the beauty of the phosphor weapons, when they are shot and spread out all over the place. Everyone´s attention was caught by the horrible images we could follow on every news channel. It was simply impossible to focus on studying and aiming for a high score while your brothers are starving from lack of medicine, bread, water electricity……
We tried to help by donating whatever we found useful for the cold nights without any kind of energy or heat. I kept on watching the news, in the hope to might be able to recognize one of the blankets we sent when injuries were carried to the hospital. I hoped that my conscience would accept that we somehow helped in a way or another. I also remember my enthusiasm about the demonstrations we participated in against the crimes in Gaza. That was when I suddenly realized that this group of high-school students in addition the their teachers will never be heard by the right people; the ones who are responsible for all the pain, the ones who have the chance to change something. It felt very bitter; it felt like when I have to watch the injustice happening to the Palestinians.
The worst part is that people got used to not be able to do anything and rather watch their future being discussed in TV shows and the daily news.
When I see the old men spending their time playing chess opposite the apartheid wall but still fight about what political parties is the less corrupt one, it gives the weird feeling of division of the same suffering peolpe. Unfortunately, the view of the wall, the fences, the checkpoints, all this became part of the determined horizon of a Palestinian. As a refugee, you can´t look further then your neighbor’s kitchen in the refugee camps.
It hurts me inside when I have to pass several checkpoints, sometimes wait for hours, and see half- naked boys standing on the side rising their hands, being checked by the soldiers over and over again. For all this to end, why don´t the Palestinians fight hand in hand for their rights, such as being able to go to your capital city, or to visit your relatives whose house is visible on the opposite hill………
what happened to our unity apart from the fact that geographically we (west bank and Gaza strip) could never be connected?
Why does a Palestinian have to support either Fatah or Hamas, why can´t he just be a Palestinian and support the basic human rights?
